THE NEAR END TIMESTM- NEWS, ODDS, & WORLD-ENDS -
MANUFACTURING PARANOIA, OUTRAGE, & WEAPONS GRADE PLUTONIUM SINCE 3423 AAD.
SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:
HACKERBOT: SCRAMBLED!
PROGNOSIS: NOT SUNNY-SIDE-UP!V3.14
HACKERBOT - THE BLASTBOT WITH THE LITERAL AND META- PHORICAL BATTERING RAM NEEDED TO TAKE DOWN MOST FIREWALLS - HAS HAD ITS MEMORY SCRAMBLED BY A MAG- NETIC FORCE OF UNKNOWN EXTRATERRESTRIAL ORIGIN.
RIGHT BEFORE IT CRASHED, HACKERBOT REPEATED A CRYPTIC MESSAGE OVER AND OVER: "WHAT GIVES!? MAYBE THIS SITE IF YOU SOLVE ALL THE PUZZLES. THE FIRST PASSKEY COULD BE USED TO DESCRIBE SOMEONE WHO SUPPORTS BLASTBOTS ON KICKSTARTER - AND IS THEREFORE, PRESUMABLY, EX TREMELY GOOD-LOOKING. IT'S ALSO WRITE THERE IN THE CODE... ERRRRR WHITE..... ERRRRR RIGHT... BYE, NARY."
THE INVESTIGATION IS ONGOING AND INVESTIGATORS ARE CURRENTLY TRYING TO TRACK DOWN ANY BLASTBOTS NAMED "NARY" THAT HAVE HAD RECENT CONTACT WITH HACKERBOT; BUT, AS OF YET, NARY NARY HAVE BEEN FOUND.
HACKERBOT PHOTO COURTESY OF:
THE TANGENTIALLY RELATED PRESS
ATTACK. DEFEND. ESCAPE. WIN., BLASTBOTS, KHAOS MAGNET, OH, ZAP!, OTTO VON HAREBRAIN, PLAYTRAINER, RIGMAROLLER, and other related marks and logos are trademarks of RIGMAROLLER, LLC (certain marks registered - certain marks pending registration). For any other intellectual property referenced or parodied herein that is owned or controlled by another party, RIGMAROLLER hereby expressly acknowledges the relevant rightsholders' rights in and to such property - and thanks their respective creators for their inspirational works and otherwise encourages everyone to go out and experience, i.e., buy, such works for yourselves.
BLASTBOTS ART & LOGO BY MATTIA DI MEO. RIGMAROLLER LOGO BY BLAST DESIGNS. 16-BIT ANIMATED GIFS BY LUKA VIDER. ANIMATED ELEMENTS ARE NOT ACTUAL GAMEPLAY FOOTAGE (DUH). ANY PRODUCT(S) OR SERVICES SHOWN OR REFERENCED HEREIN ARE PROTOTYPES - FINAL PRODUCT(S) AND/OR SERVICES MAY VARY. WE DEFINITELY DON'T KNOW WHAT EFFECT CALLING A 1-800 NUMBER WILL HAVE ON YOUR PHONE BILL IN THIS DAY AND AGE, SO JUST TO COVER OUR BASES AND BACKSIDES, WE'RE GOING TO SAY THAT STANDARD CALL, DATA, AND/OR MESSAGING RATES WILL LIKELY APPLY IF YOU CALL US!
BLASTBOTS and any related content are works of fiction (at least to date - who knows what the future holds?) - names, characters, locations, organizations, products, services, events, incidents, and/or any other nouns, adjectives, or verbs (or any combination thereof) referenced herein or therein are the result of RIGMAROLLER'S creative processes - any resemblance to actual persons, other beings (interdimensional or otherwise), thingamabobs that can pass the TURING TEST (living, dead, operational, or otherwise outmoded), names, characters, locations, organizations, products, services, events, incidents and/or any other nouns, adjectives, or verbs (or any combination thereof) is purely coincidental. Now stop reading the legal mumbo-jumbo -it is bad for your eyes and general state of wellbeing.
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